I might not be writing for a while, poetry in a few days or so on, I have my last exam this month. Gotta study, Finally driving after few weeks after my car crashed... I think it went well, with a slight worry of passing cars...

I'm not really sure what to say, I feel lost and used most of the time for other people's advantages. I don't understand myself most of the time. Feels like I have lost my sanity quite a long time ago. An empty shell without a purpose. Ever felt like your trap in space, without anyone lending a hand to drag you back to Earth, to be in a place where the sun doesn't shine and swallows you with darkness. Well I feel like that most of my life, To me happiness is somewhat artificial, Something that isn't real like a drug to make you high. Happiness is limited, sadness is everywhere. They say good people always get good things but I think that statement is false. For the people around the world, some with little sins than the common man suffer, you have to wonder why... All my life I've tried to search for myself, an image pure from harm in my mind. In my darkest days I try to find god, for no one will lend an ear to listen and during in this sadness, I tend to laugh for I fear god himself has forsaken me... I fear I have yet to find someone who truly understands.

Does it make me sane knowing that I'm going insane?